It was a very cold winter night, and I was feeling bored. I went on FindAMateForFree.com (which my friends always use by abbreviating it as just FAMFF.COM) and started scrolling through the profiles of people just to pass the time. As I scrolled, I saw a handsome guy who lived not far from me. He was so handsome that I could not help but to send him a friend request. So I did! Within 5 minutes he accepted my friend request. I was so very happy! I very much wanted to speak with him!
I therefore sent him a message to which he quickly replied! I was elated; my heart was beating quickly. We started to talk. He told me that his name is David and I said “I’m Daniella. We are almost the same name! and we do not live too far from each other!” and we laughed. The conversation between us flowed. We had a wonderful conversation that day and talked for almost 4 hours. The next morning, he messaged me saying good morning. At that moment I was elated! He contacted me! On the second day of our online chatting, our conversations and my sense of comfort with him had grown such that we planned to meet on the beach in the evening the next day.
Next evening, he called me.
He: Hey where are you?
I: I am on the way to the beach.
He: I have been waiting for you for more than 5 minutes.
I: I will arrive within 2 min I said.
He: “ok. Please come as soon as possible,” he said and ended the call.
I arrived on the beach and I immediately saw him waiting for me. I could tell it was him. I just knew. I went up to him and we started a conversation. The sun was setting and the whole environment was romantic. As the golden setting sun gently caressed our faces and a calm afternoon breeze softly played with my hair, he kissed me. I felt shy and smiled as I looked into his eyes.
Time passed, it dawned on me that we had already spent four hours on the beach; it had become dark out. As such, he drove me home and dropped me off at my house.
After the first magical afternoon and early evening that we spent together and as time passed and I continued to interact with him, I could feel myself starting to fall in love with him. I started thinking of him constantly.
The next day when we spoke, I could no longer control my feeling and I blurted out to him what my heart was feeling.
Phone call
Me: Hi Daniel … I want to say something…
He: Yes? Is everything ok? Please tell me. What is on your mind ?
Me: I think that…I think that… even though we have only known each other a short amount of time…I think that I love you …
He: “Humm” … he said…
Me: I waited for what seemed like an eternity … He didn’t say anything and painfully simply ended the call.
I was crushed. I felt hurt. How could I have misjudged him so poorly? Why did I have to say the “I Love You” so early in our budding relationship? How could I have made such a mistake?
I started recalling the time the times we spent together and our walk that evening. I couldn’t sleep that night…
Next day…
He called me and simply said “Good morning,” to which I simply replied. We made small talk.
As we spoke, time passed and it quickly became early in the afternoon.
He never addressed the “I Love You” that I had blurted out in our conversation last night. He was somewhat distant as we spoke. I yearned to hear more warmth, more affection more of an “I Love you too” in his voice – but, crushingly, it was not there.
As our conversation dryly continued, my girlfriend Sophia called and said, “let’s go to the beach this evening” to which I replied “ok. Sure” Why not? The chill in Daniel’s lack of emotion and the lack of the affection that I was hoping to hear, was not only deafening, it was heartbreaking. I thought that a trip to the back with Sophia would help to take my mind of my disappointment and disillusionment.
Sophia and I went to the beach. Just as the day when I met Daniel for the first time at the beach, the weather at the beach was warm, beautiful and a gentle setting sun made everything glow in a warm golden color. Just as that earlier day, this was also a romantic day as well.
But this day was to be a painful and forever heartbreaking day for me. As Sophia and I quietly walked along the beach, in the distance I could see Daniel – but he was not alone. He was with another girl and, painfully so, he was kissing her. Just as he kissed me that past golden day.
I was completely heartbroken. Suddenly drops of tears flowed from my eyes and I could not stop crying. Sophia kept asking me what was wrong, but I couldn’t speak a single word. Quietly I heard myself saying to Sophia in a very low, painful, quiet voice “let’s go home, Sophia”. She was surprised. We had not been at the beach very long and yet here I wanted to leave and return home. She was confused, but I did not have the heart to tell her of the storms and the pain that was swirling around in my mind and hear.
I reached home and started crying alone in my room for more than three hours and I painfully realized that, he played with me. He had simply been using me for a good time, but he had not developed any real feelings for me. It totally broke my heart. I have never, ever again spoken to him since that day and I never will. This painful experience taught me a great lesson. Even if your heart is asking you to release him, it may be better to wait until you know with certainty that it is safe for him (or her) to come out.